About Control…

kdp-quotes_control3thingspp_w649_h649Much easier said than done.

Have you ever had someone accuse you of trying to “control” what they do?  I have.

But I’ve learned that often it’s not that you’re trying to control them; it’s that they feel trapped by their own choices, and the only solution is to push the blame outward.

To the one on the receiving end of that kind of accusation, it’s hurtful. Sometimes there is no moving past it. Sometimes calmer emotions prevail and the accuser can step back and realize what’s really happening.

Either way, all the other person can do is to remember the above comment. Each of us has control over only three things: What we think, what we say, and how we behave.

Notice none of them include “others”. Only ourselves.

You can’t control other people.

You can only control yourself.

The Illusion of Control – Or Being a Superhero

So, lately in my life there have been some extra challenges.

They’re not the life and death kind, thank goodness. I and the people I love are healthy and (mostly) secure.

But the challenges that crop up can be disheartening and distressing, especially when they come in quick succession and kind of knock the wind out of me (you know what I mean?)

Sometimes they’re tied to people I love, and other times they’re connected to my teaching or writing career(s), where despite my best efforts and diligent work, I end up spinning my wheels in a way I never wanted, planned, or intended to. The giant road block (whether tangible, emotional, or mental) rises up in front of me and forces me – usually at great effort – to find a way around it.

Each of these instances sets me back on my heels for a bit. I have to process and come to terms with the hurt or angry feelings and then find a way to move through them to something better.

But that’s like taking a big, scary leap of faith, because continue reading…