Have you ever had someone accuse you of trying to “control” what they do? I have.
But I’ve learned that often it’s not that you’re trying to control them; it’s that they feel trapped by their own choices, and the only solution is to push the blame outward.
To the one on the receiving end of that kind of accusation, it’s hurtful. Sometimes there is no moving past it. Sometimes calmer emotions prevail and the accuser can step back and realize what’s really happening.
Either way, all the other person can do is to remember the above comment. Each of us has control over only three things: What we think, what we say, and how we behave.
Notice none of them include “others”. Only ourselves.
You can’t control other people.
You can only control yourself.