This has resonated a great deal with me, lately. There have been a lot of changes going on in my life, personally and professionally. It also feels like I’m always juggling at least four and sometimes five or six different things that all need my attention, my energy, and my time, and it’s difficult. Often I feel like I’m failing at one or another.
Some are for my day job.
Some are for my husband and children.
Some are for my extended family or my friends.
And some are for my writing career…which is part of what comprises the things in my life that are “for me”, even though it doesn’t always feel like it’s something anyone in his/her right (write?) mind would undertake.
And there are times I think about just letting some things go (usually the “for me” things) and trying to settle into a life that is somehow more ordinary and therefore less stressful.
Except I’m not certain that’s even possible. We are who we are for a reason.
What drives us will do so and still be there, gnawing beneath the surface, whether we feed it with action and time or not.
So the only thing we can do, I suppose, is to keep trying. Even when it’s frustrating. Even when my energy is drained.
Because it is part of who I am, and if it truly is, then I can no more easily cut out effort or energy toward it than I can cut off my own limb.
If my life hangs in the balance, then yes. If not, then I guess the only choice is to keep trying!